What Are the Statistics for Families Attending Church With Special Needs Childrren

As the mother of children with disabilities, I have witnessed outset-paw, the challenging circumstances in which the church has failed to be a Sanctuary. I am writing this from the perspective of a parent who has children with disabilities. The stories I will share are also the experiences of other parents of children with disabilities. To be articulate, I am not speaking on behalf of those with disabilities. They have their thoughts, feelings, and voices that need to be heard. My hope is that, by sharing from a parent's perspective, I tin shed calorie-free on how this issue pains the heart of God.

I realize that I am writing some harsh words to the church, and I need you to know that this is coming from a desperate place of love. Please, don't think that every congregation is declining when information technology comes to this issue. However, don't assume that this isn't an issue in your local church. The inclusion of people with disabilities in our churches isn't merely a pro-life result. It is likewise a Biblical one.

No Sanctuary

"He will never requite annihilation back to you."

Equally I stared upward into the eyes of the man we trusted would assistance us consummate our adoption, I tried to procedure his words. I was caught off guard and disgusted by the statement. My son'southward worth was questioned past someone I thought was on our side.

We assured him that we did not come for a "healthy baby." Our goal was to bribe a 6-twelvemonth-old male child who had spent his entire life existing in a crib.

I wish I could tell you that was the last time I ever felt the confusion and pain that comes with having a child with disabilities. It is earthshaking to realize that someone who should take been a champion for your child's life does not see him through God's eyes. No words tin can describe how disheartening it is when a young man believer doesn't see your kid as someone made in His image — precious, worthy of love, respect, and connection.

Pro-Life or Anti-Ballgame?

I don't recollect anyone would argue that people with disabilities are often mistreated and isolated in our world. Only what most may not realize is that some of the about painful experiences happened behind the walls of a place that should be a shelter and refuge for all who enter —the church.

After adopting our children who have disabilities, I began to come across a disconnect with many people who consider themselves "pro-life." I would hear the outrage over the fact that and so many babies who have Down Syndrome are aborted. These same people would then look on my girl with pity and comment on how my hubby and I were such saints to adopt children "like that."

I would see impassioned posts on Facebook almost how every life matters to God. Later, I'd be left in tears afterward hearing dismissive comments well-nigh they aren't "called to that" or that they "don't have the patience" to work with people who have disabilities. It was as if they idea God put some people into different categories for only certain people to love and care over.

Experiences similar this lead many who dearest Jesus to distrust those who telephone call themselves His Body. These experiences cause us to doubt your passion for being pro-life. Are you merely pro-life for the child until it makes it outside of the mother'due south womb? Or perhaps, are you just pro-life for babies that accept neurotypical brains and bodies?

Disabilities In The Church: A Parent's POV.

As a parent of children with disabilities, it'south common to hear a fellow church-goer say that all lives are made in God's image. How discouraging it is to so see you turn a blind eye to bigotry.

Isolated from non-disabled church goers.

We trust you by putting our children in Sunday School. And so, after numerous times of finding them sitting at a table by themselves while all the other kids sat together, we get the message that inclusion isn't something that matters to you.

When y'all said the new edifice would exist a blessing, we celebrated with you. Then we showed up to observe a large set of physical stairs was the merely way to get from the children's ministry building to the sanctuary. Instantly, we felt fear and heartbreak for our son, who is in a wheelchair.

Every bit if that wasn't enough, the bulletin was loud and clear when we heard the pastor happily proclaiming how the city exempted them from the original plans that had included a wheelchair ramp. What did nosotros hear? You prioritize parking spaces, the convenience of the non-disabled, over the necessity and safety of those with disabilities.

How can you say that all are welcome in your church when those with disabilities are unable to safely enter your building?

Segregated from other children.

When you told us our teenager could exist a "baby angel" in the Christmas program, we inferred that you don't see him as worthy of respect and nobility. And when we went to sign our daughter up for Vacation Bible School but were told that she couldn't come up because of her Down Syndrome, we heard yet another message. Even though Jesus allow the picayune children come to Him, you don't remember that applies to children with an extra chromosome.

Many of us are told that our children are welcome in Sunday school as long every bit we stay with them. What we hear is that you lot encounter our children as our responsibility, non as members of this Church building family unit.

I experienced this situation myself, and afterward that service, I climbed in our vehicle and broke down in tears.

It is not uncommon that parents, many starved for worship, fellowship, and respite, are made to choose between their child going to Sunday Schoolhouse and their own Spiritual needs.

Separated from the church building entirely.

When you told me the merely place my children could go during the service, in a 700,000 square foot building, was a small night room dedicated to people with disabilities (birth–senior citizen), that sent a message too. You see people with disabilities a blemish that must be subconscious away on Sundays.

And when the Dominicus School teacher said my son was "ruining her Sunday School class" considering he wouldn't do the worksheets (he is bullheaded and physically could non exercise them) — that message was loud and clear. You intendance less about loving the vulnerable than you do about completing worksheets about God's love.

And More than

These are just a few of the stories sent to me when I asked the parents in the inability community to share their church building experiences.

Believe me, there are countless more. Everything from parents who told me their child was ignored by the church, to parents who witnessed their children being openly mocked by those in leadership. Some of the most heartbreaking stories were from friends who felt the church kept making it and so hard for their family that they had no option but to leave birthday.

A sanctuary for most?

Sometimes, churches tell parents that their child cannot nourish children's ministry, but and then ask them to go out the service when their child is likewise loud or disruptive. How many Sundays would yous sit lone outside the sanctuary doors with your child or teen before deciding there was no point?

In well-nigh of the stories above, my friends ended upward leaving the churches they were attention. Some of them take institute promise and healing in different congregations or denominations. Several left merely to run across similar experiences somewhere else. Others take left the church building altogether. These are people who beloved Jesus. Many parents have sacrificed significantly to adopt high-take a chance children, only to plough around and find that their families are no longer welcome within the church they one time called home.

When disabilities aren't welcome in the church.

Some of usa choose to forgo attending church considering they are tired and weary. We fight all week long to abet and care for our children but to achieve Sunday and find that the place that should offer solace is often the hardest place to go. For those who have children in wheelchairs, churches are ofttimes inaccessible. Considering the church is a religious organization, information technology is exempt from the requirements of the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act).

Instead of seeing this every bit an incredible opportunity to create spaces where people with disabilities know they are welcome, it'due south and so often used to justify the discrimination of the disabled. If they happen to detect a way inside our buildings, churchgoers treat them similar a service project rather than a valuable fellow member of the Body of Christ.

For the church, accessibility and a safe, welcoming environment for those with disabilities is vital. Nonetheless, the special handling should stop at that place. People with special needs are human, just similar you and me. They want to be seen and treated with respect and kindness, to exist known and talked to (yes, even if they are nonverbal).

Church, they need you!

When nosotros do non include those with disabilities, everyone suffers. The individual, the family, and the church are incomplete. When you place children with special needs at dissimilar tables or confine them to divide rooms, you send the bulletin to other children that there is something incorrect with those who wait and act differently.

The church should be a reflection of the person of Jesus. When we practice discrimination, we do more than harm our witness. We too wound the heart of the Father:

"The King volition answer, 'Truly I tell you, whatever yous did for 1 of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'"

Church, you need them!

Some people look at our family unit through the eyes of pity. They see our children equally burdens, but I wish I could get the church to empathize that my children's disabilities accept been the avenue God has used to free me from the toxic burdens of ableism, pride, and legalism. When I read the experiences of families who have been hurt by the church building, it'southward clear that many churches are all the same bowing to these idols.

Reading the Scriptures, I come across Jesus repeatedly, bringing this message of what our focus should be on while we journey through this Earthly life. It's a bulletin of making ourselves last and losing our life. He makes it clear that it volition be those who are considered the least in this life that volition receive the identify of honor in the next. If loving my son and girl has taught me anything, it is that I need to be more similar them. Earlier knowing my children, I pitied those with disabilities, because I thought they couldn't understand God'south higher things. I was wrong, and that is what I wish I could get the church to meet.

The Banquet

Jesus tells a story of the great banquet. Information technology's a parable about a man who was throwing a party. He sends his servants to tell those who are invited that everything is set up, and it's time to come up on in. Simply they all began to make excuses about why they were besides busy to come. When the retainer relays this to the main, he is angry and then tells the servant to "go into the streets and alleys and to bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame." (Luke 14:21)

The kingdom of God belongs to those who cannot repay with earthly blessings. I struggle to even write this, fearing what it insinuates — that our facilitator was right, and our son has non given anything to us. In reality, our son has given much more than to us than we volition ever requite to him.

He gives in a truly indescribable way, in a way that has immune us to see Jesus more clearly than we e'er could accept without knowing him. I think that is what Jesus was addressing when he commands us to make room and welcome those who cannot repay u.s.a..

Who are nosotros inviting?

I practise not believe nosotros can create lasting modify if we practise not address the sin that is at the root of discrimination. We must each ask ourselves if inclusion is worth it to us. Do we see people with disabilities equally an inconvenience or as valued and indispensable members of the Body of Christ?

Being Pro-Life (For All)

I believe this goes to the heart of what information technology ways to be pro-life. We cannot believe that all lives are created by God with worth and purpose and then treat human beings who are made in his epitome with disdain. How can we believe in the value of life for the preborn, only and then treat those born with disabilities equally if they do non affair? If we do this, are we whatever better than those who requite value to the born and not the preborn? No.

Embracing Those With Disabilities In The Church.

If nosotros desire people to believe we are serious nigh the value of all lives, and then we need to realize this issue of inclusion is personal.

My son has taught me that although I have always been able to walk, I was not ever moving closer to God'southward heart. He has shown me that although I have always had earthly sight, I was blind to what truly matters in this life. My daughter, who is nonverbal, has taught me that words without dearest are empty vessels, void of purpose. From living life with her, I've discovered her extra chromosome is a abiding reminder of Christ'due south unhindered love.

My goal is elementary. I want to send the message to the church that families who accept children with disabilities need you and y'all need them.

Some precious truths, some blessings, are but gained by sitting at the feast tabular array with those the world has cast aside. Will you come up to the banquet, Church?

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Source: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/pro-life/when-disabilities-arent-welcome-at-church/

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